always look on the bright side of life!
by sonymagic2
Summary: Just because there in a evil castle filled with death, blood and the odd crazed lunatic, doesn’t mean that it can’t be funny! Join Fiona, Emma and Helen as they wake up and try to find there way out of the nightmare that is the Haunting Grounds.
1. why am i in a bed sheet?

Hope you like this! I'm quiet sure that this is the only Haunted Grounds story that's meant to be funny so hear goes. Review and tell me if you think it's good or if it's the worst thing you've ever read. Just to tell you that I don't own Haunted grounds but Helen and Emma, there all mine. I created them, stupidity and all! Enjoy and have a Merry Christmas!

Fiona opened her eyes suddenly and gave out a scream. A tall girl then jumped up of the floor from the shock of Fiona's scream and then yelled in panic leading to a second girl to jump up in shock and smack her head on the top of the cage. Fiona then screamed again as the tall girls yelled in her face.

"you two! Stop screaming!" the second girl yelled at them while grasping her ears.

"where are we?" Fiona said looking at her cage.

"who cares? Why am I naked?" the tall girl said looking at the lone bed sheet that was rapped round her.

"why do I have to have a pink bed sheet thing?" the second girl moaned.

"why are you complaining about bed sheets when we're all locked in three cages I what looks like a slaughter house?" Fiona said making them finally realise where they were. "who are you any way?" she asked them.

"I'm Emma," the second teen said rubbing her head from the bang on the top of the cage. "stupid features over there is Helen," she said pointing to her friend.

Helen gave a small wave to Fiona before speaking. "this room is so cool!" she said in amazement.

"yeah, It's sort of looks like the old hillbillies house in Wrong Turn when they have like pieces of bodies all over and there friend was taken there then sliced and diced into small pieces so they could eat them," Emma said happily as Fiona looked at her with a pail face.

"oh yeah! The cannon ball movie," Helen said intrigued.

"cannibals," Emma corrected.

"what a what?" Helen said confused.

"doesn't matter," Emma said looking annoyed.

"did you know that the lock on your cage is open?" Helen said looking at Fiona who looked at her lock in amazement.

"wow! She's right you know," Emma suddenly came out with as Fiona and Helen looked at her with a blank look.

Fiona quickly removed the lock and then opened the cage. "great! Now open mine!" Helen squeaked in excitement.

"how?" Fiona asked looking confused.

"err… I don't know! Maybe we could use some sort of a key?" Helen said in a stupid voice.

"well do you see any keys round!" Fiona shouted.

"Helen! Shut up! She wont let us out the way your going," Emma threatened.

"okay then. Please stop being a twat and get us out of here!" Helen yelled. "thank you," she added.

Fiona ignored her as she looked round for something to knock the lock of with and then found a chopping knife covered with blood. She stepped back in shock for while as Helen and Emma started at her.

"oh come on! Most of you body is blood!" Helen complained.

She slowly picked it up then made her way to Emma's cage and then started to repeatedly smack the lock. It took several attempts, the lock finally smashed.

"Wahoo!" Helen yelled then ran into the door only to smack her had of the metal bars.

"okay. Why did she do that?" Fiona asked looking at Helen as she shook her head from the shock.

"I don't even know this one," Emma said.

"I thought you had opened my door first," she said as Emma and Fiona looked at the wide distance of there cages.

"you cage is at the other side of the room," Emma said.

"yeah, easy mistake to make," Helen said as they both looked at her dumbstruck.

Emma grabbed the chopping knife of Fiona and then walked up to Helen's cage not to sure if she should use it to help her or hurt her. Fiona was walking round the room trying not to touch any blood. She then heard something coming from under the table that sat in the middle of the room. She bent down to have a closer look only to fly back as a dog growled at her and then leaped over her and out of the door.

"AHH!" she screamed.

"what the hell are you screaming about now!" Helen yelled at her, not looking to imprested.

"the dog…!" Fiona started as Emma had finally got Helen free.

"what ever," Helen said getting out of the cage.  
Fiona looked on the floor and then saw a dog collar. She picked it up and then read out the name.

"Hewie?" she said looking at it.

"no! my names Helen! Hel-en" Helen said slowly.

"no, I mean the… doesn't matter," Fiona said standing up of the floor. "we should get out of here." 


	2. some sort of Duch Ascent?

I know I only got one review but one review is better than one… I mean non… or minus non… I'm confused now. Well thanks anyway. Just to do my usual 'before chapter' thing, I don't own haunting Grounds and probably never will but I do own the humour of it in the form of Emma and Helen. Thanks and enjoy! 

They made there way out and then found them self's outside. The outside was completely different as the walls we're clean, the sun was shinning and there were pot plants littering the walls and floor. They ran down as fast as they could till they cam to a opening with a set of stairs going p and a few going down.

"well this is odd," Emma said looking round.

"which way?" Fiona said looking round.

"err… eini meni mini mo!" Helen said then ran down the few steps and then saw a gate.

"ow! A gate," Emma said looking unamused.

"yes! A gate, maybe even a magic one," Helen said touching it like it was precious.

"get out the way," Emma said as herself and Fiona looked a the gate.

"there's no way we're getting in there. There's a box or something blocking it," Fiona said looking at some sort of crate.

"maybe, or maybe it's a magic crate boxlike thing," Helen said cunningly.

"Shut up," Emma and Fiona said together.

"there's a hole!" Emma said looking at the side of the gate.

"that's way to small to fit in," Fiona said looking at it.

"knowing our luck, we need to get through that gate to get out of this stupid castle to," Emma said in a non-positive attitude.

"hey! A hole. I bet I can fit in it," Helen said and then leaped into the small hole and was soon wedged.

"we're you not listening to what we're were on about earlya or are you just a pin head?" Emma asked as Helen struggled to get un stuck.

"help?" Helen squeaked.

"just wait," Emma said grabbing her feet.

"oh look! A Rat!" Helen said as Fiona gave a scream.  
Emma pulled and Helen then flew out of the hole as something followed her.

"rat!" Helen said pointing to a leaf as it blew out from the hole.

"I hate you," Emma said as Helen went to play with the leaf like it was a real rat.

"hello little rat!" Helen said stroking it.

"I vote we go up those stairs!" Emma said pointing to a steep set of steps.

"okay then, can Ratty come?" she said holding up the leaf that looked nothing like a rat.  
"if I say yes, will you be quiet?" Emma said as Fiona started at her.

"err… sure!" Helen said standing up and running up the steps.

She made it half way up before falling back down almost going into Fiona.

"she's quiet stupid," Fiona said looking at Helen as she tried to stand.

"do what I do, ignore her," Emma said carrying running up.

They all soon reached the top then walked into the room. Helen ran in after Emma and Fiona and looked round with excitement.

"this is great!" Helen said touching everything.

"how is this a good thing?" Emma said as Fiona stared at Helen in confusion. "we're stuck in a castle with blood everywhere!"

"we'll, imagine these smarties to be you eyebrows then you put it in your molar and then… no wait! I'm confused," Helen said getting confused.

"What ever. Where's a wardrobe when you need it?" Emma said as Fiona walked up to a door and was about to open it.

Suddenly she turned round to see a beautiful women stood near the bed.

"wow! Where she come from?" Helen said as Emma shrugged.

Fiona looked at the women as she started at the three girls.

"I have gathered some clothes for you," she said in a robot like voice.

There was a pause as everyone just started at each other.

"is that some sort of Dutch accent?" Helen said braking the silence.

"you're a idiot," Emma growled as Fiona still started at the women.

"where are we?" Fiona asked. "how did we get here?"

The robot women then looked up at the odd painting of the old man. "yes master…" she said as everyone raised a eyebrow to what she was talking about. "I will keep her here longer and comfortable," she said as everyone eyed her.

"she's talking to a painting!" Helen whispered to Emma as Emma pushed Helen out the way.

Fiona looked at the painting and then turned back round to talk to the women again but she had gone,

"where the hell did she go?" Emma screamed in shock.

"maybe back to the mental home," Helen said laughing.

"she forgot you," Emma said walking to the bed.

"she forgot me!" Helen laughed. "wait! What?" Helen said just raising what she had said as Emma and Fiona began to get dressed. 


	3. which is the biggest dummy?

Thank you for all your reviews and sorry I took so long to get in the third chapter! I see that I have a small mine fan thing going on so I'm as happy as can be. Okay, as for experience, I don't know what happed but I completely forgot to describe them. I have added them in this chapter though so read and enjoy. This chapter is where they meat Debilitas in all his stupidity so I hope you like it. Just got to remind you that I don't own haunting grounds because I don't know everything that I need to make them but I am making my own comic! It's so cool! It's about theses three people and they… oh that's right! Your not hear to read about that. Well enjoy and review!

"okay! I real-ly need a pee now!" Helen said jumping round near Fiona.

Helen was in a plain, dusty blue shirt that had long sleeves that opened wide past the elbow and also had lace running up the front and opened up near the neck. The shirt also reached past her hips like a mine skirt and she had a belt round her waist to keep the shirt in. her trousers were simple dark black demon jeans and brown material boots. She had brushed her long light brown hair so that the hair was covering her right hand side of her face so only letting one of her light blue eyes be visible.

"do you mind? We're trying to get dressed here!" Emma said putting on a black jacket on. The jacket had proved to be to small in length for Helen since Helen reached the height of 5/10. She had already foolishly tried the jacket on only to find that there was no way it was going to fit properly and for a short while, no way to get it of. Since Emma was the smallest out of all the teen at only reaching 5/3, she was the only one who fit the jacket. "oh the warmth!" Emma said making Helen eye her and Fiona laugh.

Emma was also in a white shirt with a opening at the top where the colour came out. Her trousers were long blue jeans much like Helen's but also had patterns leading down the sides. Her boots were black as well which she hide under the jeans. She kept her hair pretty much the way it was and allowed her long dark brown hair to just flow freely in the available wind.

"just you wait! The jacket will get caught on fire and then you'll have to take it of!" Helen said giggling to her self.

"and if your shirt catches alight, you will have to go round topless," Emma said wiping the smile of her tall friends face.

Fiona was just putting her boot on when she head the door slam so she looked up suddenly. Emma then ran through the door. Fiona ran after them almost tripping over her untied boot. She saw Emma quickly run round the left corner and so quickly chased her wondering what the hell had happened. She followed Emma through a door and then heard a great crack as Emma tackled Helen to the floor with great force.

"are you two okay?" Fiona said thinking that the crack maybe braking of bones.

"I'm am," Emma said. "but Helen wont be!" She said fretting while staring at her friend that still laid on the floor.

"you twat!" Helen moaned and then jumped up to shout some more. "I only wanted to go to the toilet!" Helen yelled and then Fiona noticed broken glass where the two girls had hit the floor.

"so! You don't know where we are or why were here! You shouldn't keep running round like that!" Emma shouted back and then stopped suddenly as she looked at Helen. "your bleeding?" Emma said looking at Helen's arm.

"say what?" Helen asked confused the Fiona saw it.

There was a large piece of glass wedged into the teens arm. It was bleeding quiet badly down her arm and her side. Fiona walked up to her and took her arm.

"what are you? Gay?" Helen said raising a eyebrow to Fiona.

"no, I was going to help…" Fiona started.

"dude! I'm bleeding! This is the tent peg in the leg experience all over again," Helen said laughing while thinking back.

"don't you care?" Fiona asked looking a little confused.

"neah! It's just a little bit of glass! Now if it was a pen, then I would be worried," Helen said.

"why would you worry more about a pen?" Emma asked ripping the sleeve of her jacket.

"well you never know, I might get ink poising or something," Helen said as Emma and Fiona looked at her Dumbstruck.

"oh…… okay then," Emma said not really sure how to act to the stupidity.

Emma and Fiona soon began to make a bandage using Emma's jacket which Helen was quiet snug about because that meant the Emma wouldn't get to have it either. The sorted her arm out but the glass was still wedged in deep. After, they began to search the room but found less than nothing of interest so made there way out of the room and decided to proceed down the hall till a sudden shadow stopped them. The shadow seemed to have been strangling what looked like a small child in it's giant hands. The three females stood fastened to the floor as the watched.

"what the…muf!" Helen began before both Emma and Fiona grabbed her head and stopped her from speaking by covering her mouth.

"shut up!" Emma whispered then let go to have a closer look round the corner.

Fiona and Helen soon followed as Fiona stood up and Helen rested her body on Emma's shoulder. The shadow appeared to be a large man strangling a old and torn looking doll.

"err… what with the big dumb-ass with the doll?" Helen asked just before Emma gave way from Helen's weight and fell to the floor.

They all suddenly scurried round the corner hoping that the large creature that was round the corner didn't hear them till the doll was throne across the room scaring Fiona onto the floor. And making Emma jump up and smack Helen in the jaw.

"ahh! Awee!" Helen moaned as blood began to poor from her mouth. "I 'hink I bits my thong!" Helen said as she held out her tong for all to se but Emma and Fiona were a little preoccupied on the giant that was making it's way into view as it walked round the corner and towards the doll.

Ahh!" Fiona screamed as the large hand grabbed the doll.

"it's dust a goll! You know, something small children play with, well grils anyway! Your going to be a bit gay if you we're a dude or some pimp," Helen said still not being able to speak right but putting her tong back in her mouth anyway.

"you know what?" Emma whispered.

"no," Helen said egger to here what.

"you really are no help in any of this," she said and that was when the large figure looked at them.

"the creature was large in size and had a child like face. It's body was Grotesque and large as giggling kegs rattled with every movement it made. It gave of the veil smell of dry blood and it's cloths were stained in the stuff. It had a retarded look on it's face as it stared at the three…" Helen was saying.

"Helen! Shut up. We can all see it," Emma said as they were all backing away from him.

"sorry, I was just trying to liven things up a bit," Helen said as Debilitas began to stare at Fiona.

Fiona didn't look to good as the large creature began to stare at her through it's beady eyes. It then smiled and gave a grunt before stepping forwards a step making Fiona and Emma give a small squeak of tear.

"well it looks like this is the part were the one in the story feels that they have messed up enough and decided that he or she should do what's best and do what's right!" Helen said breathily and stood between Fiona and Debilitas.

"oh god," Emma said rolling her eyes.

Just then, Debilitas grabbed the glass that was wedged out of Helen's arm and began to pull in hope to move Helen out the way but instead, the glass came out of her arm and Helen stepped back from the shock.

"aww! Man are you a ass. I or to…" Helen began before Emma and Fiona quickly took her arms and ran as fast as they could out of there. They ran round the corner and quickly made it back to the bedroom where they were before.

"what are we going to do now?" Fiona asked as Emma began to look round the room.  
"I don't know! I've never really been in a situation where a fat killer guy who looks like Learch is after me," Emma said looking worried.

"so have you have been in a similar situation then? Just not with the Learch guy?" Helen said but no one paid attention to her.

"I think we should hide!" Fiona said then looked at the bed. "there!" she said then rolled underneath it.

Emma followed but when Helen tried, it proved useless. Helen stood up and looked round the room again.

"beggar! She said then leaped over the mine balcony in the room leading down the bottom section and Emma and Fiona listened as she hit the floor with a thump.

The door then suddenly slammed open showing Debilitas enter the room. Fiona looked from under the bed as he began to look round intuitively and then walk to the bottom section where she hoped that he wouldn't't see Helen. He carried on walking and she waited till the door was hear slamming before she got out from under the bed with Emma.

"that was close," Emma said looking round.

"a little to close," Fiona said as they both made there way to where Helen was hopefully.

They walked over to see unhappy Helen in a very uncomfortable position as she was wedged behind a chair.

"let's just help her and get it over with," Emma said as they began to get her free. 


End file.
